It’s late afternoon when we finally get home…an autumn-like evening bathed in amazing orange light.

“Wow! It’s almost chilly,” I exclaim. “Let’s have a super cozy night.”

“I like that idea!” Azalea agrees as we unlock the door. Inside, we switch on lamps and the house is suddenly transformed into an inviting refuge.

In the kitchen, as I’m taking my pills, Azalea sneaks up behind me, slides her hands around my hips…starts massaging my junk…instantly, I’m hard as a rock.

“Hey! What are you doing?” I ask, like I really don’t know! Lol!

Immediately we rip off our clothes…sprint upstairs to my room…start making out like crazy.

Suddenly, my cell rings! Fuck!

“Don’t answer!” Azalea whispers, but I instinctively grab for it knocking a bunch of shit off my nightstand.

“Gotta check,” I tell her. “Maybe it’s Carl.” And it is!

“So?” I ask him. “What’s the story? Did you get molested?”

“Not quite,” he says sarcastically.

“Was Baker weird?”


“Hey, I’m waiting…don’t be so mysterious!”

“You’re not going to believe this!”

“What? I’m on the edge of my seat…tell me!”

“Well, we’re like supposed to be reviewing English grammar, but there are raunchy sex mags scattered everywhere…exciting shit…but I’m freaked…no idea what’s gonna happen, so I try to get a conversation going, and ask him if he gets out much, and dates, or whatever. I mean…I know he wants to get in my pants, but feel like I gotta break the tension somehow.”

“So He says, ‘yeah I’m out a lot…mostly clubs in Albany’…which obviously gets my attention since we were just there.”

“So I act stupid and say, ‘are there a lot of girls up there?’ and he says ‘yeah, I’ve been dating one for years, Maude LeMonde,’ and I almost shit!”

Suddenly, I’m…like, stunned. “Carl, are you fucking serious?! You’re bullshitting me, right? He’s dating Dad?”

“That’s exactly what he said!”

“Fuck! That’s so bizarre! What did you say?”

“Well, I figured I’d nail him, so I said, ‘Maude LeMonde? That’s Cornell’s dad’s stage name. You know you’re dating a tranny guy, right?’ ”

Azalea whispers eagerly to me, “what’s he saying?”

I cover the phone. “Just a sec. You’re not gonna believe this!”

“Jesus!” I say to Carl. “What happened then?”

“Gus, the sorry fucker turned white as a sheet…was fucking speechless.”

“So, what did you do?”

“Well, I knew I had him, so I said, ‘What an amazing coincidence! I’ll tell Cornell,’ and he almost has a fucking coronary…jaw drops and he doesn’t say a word for, like, five minutes…beads of sweat popping all over his face…obviously knows I got him dead to rights! But then, he gets really pompous and says to me, ‘I’m telling you this in strict confidence. Don’t share it with anyone!'”

“So I say ‘no sweat, Cornell knows all about Maude LeMonde…his dad’ll be amazed you’re our teacher!'”

What Carl’s telling me is totally insane! “So…what happened then?” I ask.

“He becomes a total jellyfish! Starts this bullshit about how he underestimated me, and I have unlimited potential…said tutoring won’t be necessary, and if I behave, I’m getting an A!”

“Seriously? He said that?”

“Yup…a direct quote.”

“Damn! You got him wrapped around your finger, but I can’t fucking believe my dad hangs with a perve!”

Carl laughs. “Gus, Jesus, he’s a fucking tranny guy! What do you expect?”

My thoughts are spinning. “Geez, Carl, it just didn’t occur to me he’d date a perve. Just because he performs at that club, doesn’t mean he’s okay with a fucking pedophile. Maybe he doesn’t know.”

Carl agrees. “Yeah, I guess that’s possible…you better clue him in.”

I’m freaked. “You think I should?”

“Hell yeah!”

I can’t believe what I’m hearing, and suddenly I’m in the weirdest position ever. “Listen, “I tell Carl, “I’ll try and tell him, but honestly, he acts like I’m fucking invisible…just does whatever he wants…he’s never really been interested in me at all!”

We hang up, and my head’s spinning. It’s like a dream…a nightmare! Feel like I’m a tiny molecule floating in space. How can all this shit be part of my life?

I reach over and pull Azalea into my arms. She’s the only solid reality I have. Maybe, somehow, I can pull pieces together and make them into something, but what? At least I have super friends like Carl, Neal, Doc and Justine.

Feel like I’m crushing poor Azalea, but I’m afraid to let her go! Without her, seems like my life’ll disintegrate…tears are running down my cheeks.

“Gussy,” she cries. “What’s the matter, baby?”

“Oh my god!” I exclaim. “Carl told me really weird shit…Baker’s dating my dad!”

She’s as shocked as I am. “Are you serious???”

I’m sobbing. “Yeah, but listen sweetheart, you’re here for me, and I don’t need anybody else! You’re the bedrock I’ve gotta build on. Fuck the world! We can manage on our own. We’ll go to school…work hard…become doctors or whatever! Show all the sorry fuckers out there!”

“I love you, baby,” she whispers.

“God, I love you too!”

Our lips meet and all the crap fades away…for a while at least!

The End – Thanks to our readers!!!