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No worries! My Rockhead adventures will continue after a few old pix of me. The first one is 11-year-old me with my chickens. I loved them sooo much and miss them a lot!

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This picture is of me at 13 taking a break from plowing. I grew up really fast and was able to handle the controls  by then. That year I sprouted to like 6'2" was the tallest in my class by a lot.

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Here's me at my secret swimming hole! On hot days used to sneak off and skinny dip. As you can see, at 12 I was already a super tall dude. Every part of me sprouted, so after a dip, loved to just lie around and indulge!!!! Do Whatever....

 

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Ha ha! Don't look! Here's me doing whatever! I couldn't resist testing it out every day, and I overheard the older kids saying "if you don't use it, you lose it!" So, I wasn't about to take any chances, and pretty soon my classmates noticed, and the news spread like wildfire. Honestly, at first, I was shy and embarrassed about the solo sessions...always expecting to get rudely, crudely, interrupted...imagining even the slightest noise was kids spying!
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

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Pretty soon, girls just showed up unexpectedly hoping I'd have some time to spare, and I made damn sure I did, but eventually, I got in over my head. Kissing was a good start, but the kids were eager to teach me new stuff, and I got totally into it! Totally!!!

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Listen, I'm kind of embarrassed to show you this picture. It's the very first day I went beyond kissing, way beyond, and it kinda confirmed my reputation as one of the super hung guys in my class. From this day on, I was a busy dude...and it was really fun work!!!!

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After the hayloft, I had to escape to the swimming hole to refresh and digest what happened. An exciting new chapter had opened, but it was pretty incomprehensible at first, and I was terrified someone would rat me out and my fun would be over, but fortunately, that never happened...sort of the opposite. Word got around and I was in serious demand like 24/7, and that wasn't bad at all! Ha ha!!!

FullSizeRender (2)Pretty soon I had to do my chores in every kind of weather. When it was nice, girls, and even boys, hung around constantly, trying to get me aside, and I was so horny, I couldn't resist. Dad was pissed, but I made sure the farm work got done anyway, even in bad storms. I was lucky I didn't freeze to death or get struck by lightning!

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This picture is kinda weird. As you can see, I used a pen to write in what happened in an actual incident. On top of all the crazy sex stuff, I always try to be a good person. As a kid, I worked hard at school and on the farm, and used my height to try to stop bullying and harassment. Some kids pick out the weakest, saddest kids, and try to make their life even more miserable. That's really shitty, so whenever I see that, I jump in, even if it's none of my business...well, it is sorta my business, because I want my schoolmates to get along. Sadness drags me down!!!

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This is a picture on the sad day when I learned my whole life would change and that my beloved farm was not in my future.

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This picture shows me when I first got to New York. I was totally disoriented...didn't know what to make of it. Had a really hard time finding my way around, but a lot of people were really helpful, especially the beautiful girls that were everywhere!!! It made me hopeful things would turn out okay (if you know what I mean!).

 
 

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I hoofed all over New York City trying to find an intern job, but it wasn't easy. By sheer luck, I was grabbing lunch at a taco place when this amazing girl sat down at my table and started coming on to me. She asked all about me and we ended up making out in a park nearby. Turned out she worked in the Human Resource Department of this huge company, Cumbersome Corporation, and she invited me to come in for an interview. I was psyched, buttwo days later when I showed up, she was tough as nails...acted like we'd never met before. I was totally confused, but then, out of nowhere, she offered me an intern job, and I accepted on the spot. It was weird, because she was acting unfriendly, but slipped me a note saying she wanted to meet in the park again at lunchtime. So, basically, I got a great internship, but had to "provide personal services" for two weeks after that.

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So, I started going to college at night and working for Cumbersome Corporation during the day. Cumbersome's a mega conglomerate with a zillion different divisions like tech, pharmaceuticals, telecom...you name it. The other interns told me the head honcho, Herb Snicker, was a total asshole who used to run the place like the Middle Ages, but the stockholders got on his case, so he started instituting changes to make the company appear like they gave a shit about something other than profits. Among other things, they launched a Well-Being Center to give employees advice on how to live healthier lives. It was such a high priority that the lowest person on the totem pole was put in charge...you guessed it, me! I didn't know what the fuck I was doing, but the place was really busy, because so many girls and guys wanted to hook up with me. It was totally crazy and I couldn't escape anywhere...even the restrooms had been converted to unisex as part of the image overhaul, and that led to some embarrassing encounters like the one in the photo above.

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So, I was doing my job the best I could, when out of nowhere, this weird named Rush dude told me I'd been singled out to be Greed Ranger #1. Apparently, these...like...aliens have been watching the Earth and were seriously concerned about the intense corporate greed. They saw that corporations like mine were pulling all sorts of sleazy tricks to suck money out of unsuspecting customers....on a vast scale because of the internet. They were worried that the evil would spread to different levels of reality throughout the universe! Wow!!! And I was given special powers to help stop it!

 
 
 
 
 

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When I was singled out, I had no way of knowing that a lowly lab animal would become my sidekick...only after corporate drug tests had transformed him into an animal superhero with incredible powers. I got to know the transformed animal as Scorch, and his powers are beyond belief! I would never have become a superhero myself without him! His powers are terrifying to my enemies!