Episode 13 – Driving Lessons

Behind me, Tobias is screaming. I sprint to the car and leap in the driver’s seat…slam the door and pop the locks.

“What happened?” Azalea cries from the back seat.

Turn the key and the engine roars to life. It’s so fucking dark, it occurs to me I need headlights…flip them on and immediately see Tobias lunging toward us….grabs the door handle, but gets nowhere.

Azalea’s yelling in my ear. “Gus, what the fuck are you doing? Have you gone crazy?”

“No,” I gasp, “he’s a total perve…we gotta get out of here!”

“What do you mean? Did he attack you?”

“No, but he was disgusting.”

“But where are we going? Do you know how to drive?”

“Kind of,” I mumble shifting the car into reverse. I know how to do that.

Tobias is hanging on the fucking door handle screaming through the glass. “Stop! Leave my car alone!”

I punch the accelerator and the car lurches backward, climbs the side of an embankment and crunches a bush. Fuck! Tobias is gone. I’m freaked…did I run him over???

Suddenly, he leaps into the headlights and starts pounding the hood. I lean on the horn. He’s bellowing at us to stop, but I’m too flustered to give a shit.

“You sure you wanna steal a car?” Azalea asks. “That’s serious shit!”

I lower the window and tell Tobias to get the fuck away…shift into drive and we shoot toward the road.

“Slow down!” Azalea shrieks as we speed over the white line and barely stop on the far shoulder. Glance in the mirror and see Tobias bounding after us. Cramp the wheel and punch the gas…we squeal into the right lane as another car whizzes around the corner. Whew!

“Gus, damn! I’m definitely buckling my seat belt!” Azalea cries. “You sure you know what you’re doing?”

“Not really, but at least we’re getting away.”

We round a corner too fast, tires squealing…feels like we’re gonna roll. Holy shit! My heart’s in my throat…barely manage to keep control.

Azalea’s hysterical. “Baby, slow down. We’ll both get killed!”

“Good point.”

After a while, I get the knack of steering between the lines.

“Loosen up,” Azalea cries. “You got a death grip on the wheel!”

Miraculously it works. “Wow! That’s amazing!”

“See. I know a thing or two about driving. I took Mom’s car a bunch of times.”

“Then you should be driving.”

“No way. This is a stolen car.”

“So, you don’t care if I get arrested? Thanks loads.”

“Baby, you’re buck naked and driving a hot car. I’m staying back here out of sight!”

We come to a crossroads…I slam on the brakes. “You recognize this? Which way do we go?”

“Baby, I’d turn left toward the main highway. If we go right, we’ll end up in the mountains.”

“See, we’re a good team.”

“Don’t jump to conclusions. Let’s wait and see where we end up.”

Thankfully, we come to the main road and see a sign pointing to Prescott. I’m fucking relieved…imagined us lost the whole night.

“What’ll we do when we get to your place?”

“Park a few blocks away and leave the car.”

“What’ll your dad think if we stroll in naked?”

“Hopefully, he’ll still be at work. He’s always home late.”

“Baby, let’s pray that’s true tonight. Where’ll I sleep?”

“With me. I don’t give a shit what he says.”

She leans forward and gives me a huge kiss. “Gussy, you’re the best! Let’s just hope the school hasn’t called a zillion times.”

My heart sinks. Realize she’s right. How will I explain total absence from school…Dad’ll go ballistic, but no way I’d leave Azalea. No way, no how! Life would be worthless without her.

After some wrong turns, we finally reach town…park on a dark side street. I suddenly get freaked they’ll trace my fingerprints. Carefully wipe everything with leaves…stick the keys under the mat.

Azalea thinks I’m crazy. “Gus, What are you doing? Where would they get your fingerprints? Your birth certificate?”

“I’m not taking any chances.”

I take her hand and lead her to my street, ducking in and out of the streetlights. It’s a first…never wandered my neighborhood stark naked before.

“How far?” Azalea asks.

“Two blocks…hope the lights aren’t on. That’ll mean Dad’s home.”

“Has he seen your grown-up body?”

“Not in like five years! It’s none of his business.”

“You live in a mansion?”

“A mansion? No. Why would you think that?”

“You said your dad’s a famous actor.”

“I guess some actors are more famous than others. Our place is pretty normal.”

At the end of my street, we hear people coming and duck in the bushes….end up kissing, and I get a boner which Azalea finds hilarious. “Jeez, be quiet!” I whisper. “I don’t want to get caught like this!”

“Why? People would be impressed.”

“Yeah, right!”

We sneak back to the sidewalk. Don’t want to look at my house…afraid the lights’ll be on. Finally look and Fuck! They are on! Shit! Fuck! Piss! Point toward it. “There it is, home sweet hell!”

“Gussy, the lights are all on.”

“Tell me about it!”

“So…your dad’s home?”

Roll my eyes. “Yeah, I guess.”

To be continued….Read next episode!