Episode 2 – Escape From Captivity?

I can’t believe Uncle Henry’s invaded our TV space and won’t leave! It’s fucked up! All Amy and I want to do is watch our programs and enjoy Saturday, but between the news media and Uncle Henry, it’s fucking impossible. I’m going bat shit!

“Uncle Henry,” I say. “Respectfully submitted, things have got to change. First, we need cell phones. It’s dangerous not being able to communicate…really dangerous, especially these days, and second, we can’t stay cooped up here. It’s like a fucking prison. the world’s not getting any better, but hiding here’s not gonna accomplish anything. Maybe we could be out making a difference,” but all he does is start lecturing: “Derrick, don’t you get it? This is the Clan for Mutual Defense we’re talking about, the CMD…not the Mickey Mouse Club. It’s the big leagues! If they do what they’re threatening, hell will break loose…streets will be impassable…anybody at the wrong place at the wrong time will be in grave danger. Listen, I follow these groups hour by hour. It’ll be ten times worse than a random school shooting. These people are organized…believe they’re patriots, sons of the revolution. I don’t want you and Amy in harm’s way. Your parents would roll over in their graves if you were wandering around on your own.”

Vintage Uncle Henry! He pisses me off!!! If he has his way, Amy and I’ll turn into vegetables…become shapeless blobs and lose all our friends. How’ll we learn to get along in the world, if we don’t get out and learn to fend for ourselves? Total withdrawal is no fucking life!

Not sure why, but I’m definitely amped more than usual…maybe because of the paranoia and media hype, plus Uncle Henry’s unending bullshit! I’m fucking determined to do what I always do. See my friends in spite of the CMD and all the money-hungry companies and politicians. The CMD’s bad, but big business isn’t so wonderful either. I can’t believe the crazy shit they’re coming up with…feeding the apocalypse panic. Amy and I just saw a TV commercial advertising vitamins formulated for “Social Depressive Reaction,” or SDR (“a real disease.” Yeah, right!), and the top three marijuana brands these days are “Daydreams,” “Escapes” and “Reveries,” and there are zillions of ads for shit like panic buttons, super secure condos, sonic guns, mace…it’s fucking insane! Don’t people get it? We’re like rats in a fucking maze!

As expected, Uncle Henry gives me the usual harangue about how I’m irresponsible and don’t take warnings seriously, then heads back to his laptop where he spends his entire (yes, entire) day ordering supplies and tracking his favorite Conservative Action Groups…CAG’s. Everything’s reduced to fucking acronyms these days.

The threat of being confined is driving me nuts…like I’m in fucking prison! Especially since I’m seeing Tara Watts, and getting totally addicted…have to have a Tara fix every day, and that’s totally impossible with the city under siege and no cell. It’s amazing to me. Tara and I have been friends for years, but lately, seeing her is, like, overstimulating….it’s abnormal! Her body’s on my mind 24/7. It’s growing…like everywhere. At school, she snubs other guys, but when she sees me her face lights up.

It doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see my hormones are raging…I’m literally jumping out of my fucking skin. Every morning I’ve got serious wood that lasts for hours, and oozes gross shit. I don’t know if it’s sperm or what, but it’s embarrassing and I’m afraid Amy’ll notice, if she hasn’t already??? I should definitely have it checked out, but who am I going to talk to? The school nurse? Uncle Henry? No fucking way! If I had a cell, I’d go on the web and check it out. I’ve tried at school, but kids always interrupt, so I pretend I’m researching baseball scores or some other shit. No way I wanna get caught checking out STD’s.

I need privacy, and I’ve been thinking of carving out a solo space, but hate leaving Amy alone. I mean, it’s not like she has no friends. She’s got lots of girlfriends, plus three semi-boyfriends, Matt, Kadeem and Todd, but honestly, I don’t want to be alone either. Amy’s my only family, and I guess the bathroom’s gonna have to do for now.

Fuck! Why am I hanging around and making myself miserable??? Better get a move on. “Amy, I’m getting dressed.” Sprint to our bedroom, pull on my shorts and my favorite tee. Unfortunately, they’re getting smaller every day…it’s getting impossible to hide my gender…be an androgy like my friends. Pretty soon I’ll have to give up and act like a normal brother. What’s this world coming to!

Scoot back to the TV where Amy’s flipping stations trying to find something interesting, but it’s hopeless. Our old TV isn’t linked to the internet, so typically half the shit is unwatchable…re-runs and reality shows for boomers, news shows for nuts, and stupid fucking cartoons for little kids. There some decent shows, but not today…the world’s on fucking hold. Amy’s pissed…throws the remote. “This is bullshit! We’re cut off from the outside world!”

“Mindless crap IS the outside world,” I sneer sarcastically.

She crosses her arms and looks me in the eye. “No it isn’t Derrick. There are millions, maybe billions, of boys and girls like us who are pissed at grown-ups. Grown-ups are trying to control everything….even our thoughts! We need to do something…not just sit all day among these infested boxes.”

“Amy, aren’t you missing something? I AM doing something. I’m ready to get the fuck out of here.”

She jumps up and turns off the tube. “Okay, I’ll be dressed in a second. How’ll we alert our friends?”

“Uncle Henry’s got a cell. Maybe I can get my hands on it.”


“I’ll snoop around. Gotta be somewhere on his work table.”

Amy looks at me wide-eyed. “What if he catches you?”

“Nada. He expects me to do stupid shit.”

Amy leaves our cave. I wait…then creep out like an urban guerrilla. Tiptoe to Uncle Harry’s door…he’s hunched over his laptop. His space is strictly off-limits. According to him, it’s a treasure chest of confidential information accumulated from secret sources. “Not even the CIA has some of my stuff.” At least that’s what he claims, but Amy and I know he’s delusional….it’s just more paranoid bullshit.

To be continued….Read next episode!